Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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