Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
