If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize