I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
