We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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