is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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