Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize