i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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