Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
