last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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