I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
