I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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