It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
