i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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