Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
