heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize