I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize