I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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