i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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