He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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