Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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