So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
