Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize