I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
