dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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