I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
