Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize