I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
