Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
