Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize