I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
