11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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