Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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