my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
too bad you live with your parents still
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
