i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
