the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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