Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
