yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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