dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
