in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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