you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
