Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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