Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
