You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
