my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
