I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
