Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
