Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize