There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
