yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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