It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
