doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why didn't you poke me back
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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