you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
