I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
