he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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