Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
