yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
