Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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