i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize