I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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