what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
