that's an acceptable place to lick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
