we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
