Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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