my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
