i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
