Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
