it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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